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Are you considering foster care or adoption, but aren’t sure of your next steps?

The Orphan Care Initiative is here to support you! Every month we host a monthly seminar called “Thinking About Adoption or Foster Care” designed to answer your questions and provide helpful overviews and next steps in a no-pressure environment. Learn more and register for the next class on Feb. 5th here: http://saddleback.com/events/eventdetails.aspx?id=69212

 

Watch and read (below) Amber and Dave’s story - how the journey of foster care and adoption brought two beautiful daughters to their family:

 

 The moment Amber Healy laid her eyes on her foster daughter Summer, it was love at first sight. She and her husband David had two sons and had been longing to grow their family. Amber had no idea that she would soon learn how love would transform her family in ways she never imagined.

 Amber and David’s desire for another child led her to speak with a friend who was a social worker about the idea of becoming foster parents. She liked the idea of being able to provide a safe and loving home for a child who was in need of care. Armed with the information and support provided by the Orphan Care Initiative, Amber and her husband signed up to be foster parents through the county and eagerly awaited news about when they would have a child placed with their family. When the moment they had been waiting for finally arrived, they were filled with excitement about adding another child to their family—even if it was temporary. The next day, Amber and David picked up their foster daughter, Summer. “When the social worker walked in with Summer, I remember being love struck and thinking to myself, ‘she is mine’,” Amber recalls.

 The months that followed would be a ride on an emotional rollercoaster. Most days were filled with joy as Summer began to find a secure place in the Healys’ hearts and family. They loved her as their own daughter and sister. The transition period was tough, and the couple’s small group wrapped around the family providing meals and rearranging schedules to have Bible study at the Healys’ house so that Summer would have the stability of going to sleep in her own bed at the same time every night.

 Amber understood that the emotional involvement involved with foster care is a two-sided coin. Over the months, she enjoyed being able to love, hold, and bond with Summer. However, she also learned that no matter how strong you are, the love you have for your foster child may not always be enough to prevent you from breaking down during the difficult times. She knew that deep in her heart, God was calling her to raise this child for however long was needed, and He was giving her the strength to endure the emotional difficulties she faced. The day finally came when the Healys learned that the court decided that Summer's biological parents were unable to care for her, making Summer eligible for adoption. They were filled with gratitude, relief, and joy that they could finally adopt Summer and legally make her their daughter.

 When Summer grew a little older and the Healys felt like she was ready to not be the youngest in the house, they made the decision to adopt again. This time, Amber and David explored international adoption and decided to adopt a child from Rwanda. But six months into the process, Rwanda closed it’s doors to adoption from outside of the country, and devastation set in for Amber. She compares the heartbreak, loss, and grief she experienced equal to that of a miscarriage.

 Now back at square one, Amber found herself discouraged and uncertain  in how to go forward. She laughs as she recalls the irony in having already completed the foster-adoption process once, yet having no idea how to start the adoption process from scratch. Amber was not comfortable with private adoptions. In her quiet time with God, she told Him that she didn’t want to adopt privately or adopt a young baby or infant. But God had a different plan and directed her steps onto a course she wasn’t expecting to take.

For three weeks straight, Amber stayed up nightly till 2:00 a.m. researching how to adopt. She sought advice from the Orphan Care Initiative that helped her explore all her options. One day while speaking to a Christian adoption service, she overheard a conversation between a facilitator and a woman who was expressing her desire to not be treated like an incubator or commodity and was contemplating abortion.

 Amber was overwhelmed by the depth of genuine care and love the facilitator had for the distraught woman on the other end of the phone. At that moment, she felt God calming her fears and giving her peace about adopting privately. As she stepped out in faith and bravely opened her heart to a process that had recently led to great pain, God miraculously orchestrated the private adoption of a baby within a matter of months.

 The Healy’s adopted from a 38 year-old-mother who lived in another state. The woman did not want her family at home to know she was pregnant, so she spent the last months of her pregnancy with the Healys. Amber recounts how she continued to learn the depths of what God means when He says “love never fails” by walking straight into this birthmother’s world of pain and loss. She remembers sobbing in a hotel room with the woman as she explained how she couldn’t get the money to abort her child and how she had wanted the adoptive family to be African American. In the midst of all this sadness, Amber was able to share that this was not what she had originally wanted either, but that God had a better plan than what they both wanted to choose for themselves. In the end, it was not a difficult decision for either of them, but rather an incredible gift that God had placed right in front of them. 

 In the short amount of time they spent together, the Healys grew to know and love this birth mom. Their children would hold her hand and walk and talk with her, and they even spent a day with her at the aquarium. When their daughter Ellie was born, Amber said the most difficult things she had to do were to take baby Ellie and say goodbye to the woman she had chosen to love.

Ellie was given the middle name “Love” as a symbol and reminder that this special little girl had come from a place and person full of love. The Healys will be forever grateful to Ellie’s birth mom for her heroic, loving, and giving act of selflessness that gave them the gift of their daughter.

 

If you have any additional questions about adoption or foster care, please email us at orphans@saddleback.com or call Orphan Care at 949-609-8555.



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